Nothing I do now can change the past experience I have had of childbirth, it will always be what it was. However, knowing that what it was and what it should have been are two very different things, remaining silent about it sends the message that somehow that is okay. Burrying it in the past will not help me move forward. What happend was wrong on many different levels. Knowing that I am not alone in my experience of being unable to access appropriate care, makes it more wrong not less...
Which is why I am finding that doing something about it is helpful. It is why speaking out, is important. It is why talking to other moms matters - because mothers matter and they deserve better. I hope that what I do today will reduce the chance of the same wrong continuing to be done. I want my daughter to get the care that she deserves when she decides (if she decides) to be a mom.
I can't change the past - but I might be able to change the future, but only if I refuse to be silent. What happened to me was wrong, if it happens to my daughter and I could have prevented that in some way - then I will have truly failed.
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