I had hoped that by this time I would be preparing to venture on a new chapter in my life career wise. That I would be aligning who I am with what I do. That my plans for the months ahead would be more concrete - and that I would be excited about the work that was to come in the months ahead.
It is not that steps have not been made, they most certainly have - but that rather than the concrete I had hoped for, I have flubber (for those who do not know, flubber is a Newtonian solid made of school glue and a mixture of water and Borax, in short homemade silly putty). I have to accept that getting to a place where I do good work, that matters (and for which I am paid adequately) - is more of a process. I have to accept that going from where I am at, to where I ultimately want to be will take more. More time. More blog posts. More learning. More relationship building. More thought. More patience.
As such, I have been trying to make the most of where I am at. Identifying the bits and pieces at work that I can work towards changing (and working towards those changes), giving voice to what might otherwise go unheard, and doing good work, even when there are significant barriers to doing so. I know that in the long run, I likely will not remain where I am at - and hopefully by next New Years I will be several steps closer to where I want to be in my career (or perhaps will have made that next step a reality). I am also hopeful that when I leave where I am at - that maybe as a result of the things I do between now and then that I will have contributed to rebuilding a better workplace than the one that welcomed my return from maternity leave in September 2013.
What 2014 has brought is clarity - a clarity of purpose, and clarity around what the next chapter of my work life might look like. Clarity around the things I need in order to be satisfied with the work I do. Clarity around the things that seem to be causing me dissatisfaction.
So as I look forward to 2015, I am still excited about the work in the months ahead (work outside of work, and work at work to rebuild a better workplace). I will spend 2015 doing the more that needs to be done and perhaps when 2015 draws to a close, I will be starting that new chapter in my life career wise. A chapter that aligns who I am with what I do, a chapter filled with purpose, a chapter focussed on doing good work that matters, that makes the time spent working time that is well spent.