I've been reading my medical file with respect to my daughter's birth - and knowing what I know now, my doctors and the hospital are lucky that a worse outcome is not part of the litigation - and I am lucky (fingers crossed) to have what appears to be a neurologically normal toddler.
One of my greatest fears about vaginal childbirth, is the potential for it to result in lifelong neurological disability. Not everyone gets through vaginal childbirth unscathed - some are left with lasting physical and mental disabilities. I understand that it is rare for such things to happen, but the reality is that someone is that one in a thousand person. I have personally known people who did not make it through birth unscathed. It was one of the reasons I was choosing cesarean for the birth of my daughter. I was happy to trade some increased risks for a decreased risk of that particular outcome.
So when I read the following in my medical record - I was taken aback, because the outcome I feared the most was much closer to becoming reality than I had thought.
My daughter had a tight nuchal cord (it could not be reduced over her head), had no spontaneous respiration for the first minute of her life, cord blood gases were ordered with the notation of gases 7.0, bicarb 17 and BE -15.
I'm a little more thankful for my daughter and a little more livid at what happened.