This is likely to be the baby of the family - between two half-grown stepkids and a desire to have a few years (and a few dollars left) after the kids are grown to enjoy life as adults, this is likely to be it. We won't be taking permanent measures, but I also can't see us further adding to our family. So this is likely the last time I will know pregnancy and birth.
Thankfully, since finding an OBGYN who thus far appears supportive of my plans regarding this child's entrance into the world - a great measure of piece of mind has been regained. I'm starting to ease into being an expectant mother again - I'm starting to think that this time it is likely to be different. I may even start to (now that the morning sickness has subsided) enjoy this pregnancy. So far, my OBGYN has done a remarkable job - he has been very transparent, understanding, and reassuring. I feel like I'm in good hands, I feel like my child is in good hands.
Going to a different health authority, going to a different doctor, planning to give birth in a different hospital -- all of it seems to be helping to alleviate the anxieties and fear and helping to restore the hope that it will be different this time.