I spend a lot of time in the space between my ears. Thinking about my last pregnancy and birth (mostly birth). Thinking about the health care system in BC - often as it pertains to maternity care. Thinking about whether or not any of it really matters...and if it does matter thinking about what I can do about it. Thinking about the future, and the next pregnancy. Thinking about what kind of health system my daughter will face when she is approaching motherhood.
The only conclusion I have come to is that my experience can not be without value or purpose - which is more of a beginning than a conclusion.
I have started in motion what I hope will be an effective way of making my experience (and those of others) matter. Only time will tell if that is truly the result of my actions. I hope for courage and strength...and to repair some of the damage done.